Hello all.  It's been a very long time.

I've been nearly completely detached from internet life for the past 4-5 months or so.  Despite this, there really hasn't been much going on in my life besides the fact that I really just had no motivation.  A lot of the motivation I had back then still isn't here with me still.  But with the new year, I'm going to try and change that, because I frankly miss being me.  Luckily, things are starting to lift in a sense, despite the things that are happening in my life atm.

To put it in basic terms without really explaining much, I've been going through some personal turmoil.  Things like a build up of un-self-worth post portfolio class, falling in like/love, family/friend problems/turmoil, depr.  etc.  AKA STUPID THINGS  It wasn't a good second-half of the year for me.  And with the new year rolling around, even though it's only been 15 days into it, a lot has happened, both really wonderful and awful.  

It looks like my grandpa/step grandpa might be passing away soon, I guess to add to it.  I'm not really sure what to make of it.  There is some regret feelings there.  Regret that I didn't pay enough attention to him while he was still mentally healthy/maybe feelings I've acted upon as a child towards him.  He has both parkinsons disease and dementia.  There's a chance that as I type this, he won't recognize my face ever again.  I want to tell him I love him one last time if it really looks like this is the end.  If he really does pass away soon, I'll probably write another journal dedicated to him and my memories of him.  My real grandfather was killed in a car accident before I was even born.  So my entire life growing up, even though he really was a step-grandfather, he was the closest/best grandpa I could have asked for.  Papa loves me and everyone around him and I love him.

I have a very good friend of mine that's going through this sort of thing himself right now, much worse than me.  I don't feel obligated to say much on this, but this kind of thing is going to change our lives in a way.  I'm not sure how yet.

But on a higher note, I'm now in cahoots with a great guy I've been pretty good friends with for a while, even if he doesn't see it in himself right now (I hope he does eventually!) everyone around him knows it. ; )

But enough about my boring life excuses.  I've been sadly very detached to homestuck.  I'm not sure if I'll ever really get back into it fully. Maybe.  All I know right now is the new kids are going trickster for reasons I do not know and it all looks very disturbing. xD  I'll still be doing some fanart though because lets be honest, hs fanart is a lot of fun and experimental.  But if not, I'll try doing some other stuff.  Updates from me will be slow though, and maybe not as up to par.  But I need to at least try.  Because for a while, it's been difficult to even put lines on canvas.

getting the urge to not post this so I'll post this now